Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Breaking News: Andy Pettitte is a Human Being

Must be a slow news day in New York. George A. King III over at NY Post posted this today.

Jeter: 'Human' Pettitte bothered

This is fun. Human Pettitte. Robot J5. Dog Lassie. Toilet Paper Charmin.

TAMPA -- Beyond the eyes that burn with intensity and a competitive spirit that has carried him further than his tools, Andy Pettitte is exactly like the rest of us: He requires a heart to live, a brain to think, legs to walk and a mouth to talk.

Did anyone doubt that he, the Human Pettitte, lacked any of these? I think Liutenent Dan would have something to say about the requiring "legs to walk" thing. Also, get this man some Clear Eyes!

That’s why Derek Jeter says that Pettitte’s inclusion in the Mitchell Report, his admission of taking two spikes of HGH in 2002 to help an elbow problem, and what he said in a recent deposition about longtime buddy Roger Clemens will bother the Yankees lefty.

Because he has a big toe that helps him keep balance, an ear that helps him hear, and a nose to help him smell. He's a human-- unlike most people?

“He is human," the captain said today following a morning workout at the minor league complex. “Not speaking for him but I can only imagine; he is human so I am sure it will."

I like how Jeter doesn't want to speak for him but George King makes Jeter speak for him in the title of the piece "Jeter: 'Human' Pettitte bothered." Too high of a punctuation to word ratio there.

Pettitte, whose scheduled appearance at a congressional hearing tomorrow in Washington was nixed Monday night, is expected to report to Legends Field Thursday with the rest of the pitchers and catchers and start working out Friday.

Because he' s a human being.


If Jeter, who initially met Pettitte when they were 1992 Single-A teammates in Greensboro, is right and Pettitte is bothered, it may have an impact on how well he gets into pitching shape during camp.

Did you see what he did there? Took one quote saying that Andy Pettitte is, in fact, a human being and WHAM: journalism. Way to go George!

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